Self reflection...

Life is Good.

I have been spending an incredible

amount of time and money on myself

in the past months. I have begun the

venture of finding true health, that is

what I would call it anyhow. I have

really honed in on my diet a lot more

and am much more aware of what I

need to be eating and what I don't,

which, believe it or not leads to

learning what prayers one should

say on a consistent basis, what time

one should take for themselves, what

environment one will flourish in best,

and so on...

I see it like this- once I really began to exert

a lot of energy and intention on one major

factor in my life, in this case diet/physical

health, so many other parts of my life began

to fall in to balance. I should say that this has

all been accompanied by weekly acupuncture

which has helped me onto a more balanced

path with emotional health as well.

I think that this seeking for balance appeared to others as being "distant", and as much as I could be concerned and apologetic, I am not. I have to say I am happy I have taken this time. I want to be able to use this short life to serve humanity, I couldn't do that before, buried in all my own unbalanced crap. So, if you saw my distance from you as rude, uncaring, ill-compassionate, unfriendly, (and I know there are at least a few of you) well please know that a different perspective would really serve you well. In retrospect alone, I know that I totally needed that time, and I think I might just take some more, it feels great! I love it!

The Kiss of Faith

Amidst the peace that has been this new found balance, I have found myself more readily prepared to take on bigger things in life, of course from struggle and striving comes growth. A very close family member recently had a MAJOR operation which would prove to be detrimental to other parts of there system. None the less, faith was there as a gift from the One greater and they are doing very well now, relatively speaking. I still pray and meditate and pray for telling dreams that might guide my understanding as to what will come.

Loss of Life

On the flip side, I also lost someone very close to me at

about the same time the aforementioned operation was

in progress. I know that in the writing's of Baha'u'llah

He states:

"O SON OF THE SUPREME!

I have made death a messenger of joy to thee.

Wherefore dost thou grieve? I made the light

to shed on thee its splendor. Why dost thou veil

thyself therefrom?"

That quote has been a source of comfort and realization as I ponder the loss of this loved one, so precious.

I love my humble human nature, I also love my sacred spiritual nature. It is comforting to know of them both when going through these tests in life.

Get Motivated!

Two words first off- Tunes man! I am finding that Music doesn't play a small roll in motivation in my life, it plays a HUGE one! With it can be summoned untold forces and energies that I don't usually feel. It is so amazing. Last night I made a playlist on youtube of super energizing (to me) hip hop and in no time all the rest of my unpacking in my bedroom was done! Well "no time" is an exaggeration... I think I went to bed at 7pm.

Clarity

So, with my room cleaned, I though "I really need to still work today, but don't want to go any longer without sleep". So, what did I do? Well, I turned to God. I thought of what I would need to do to meet my quota and still get in a good long nap (or nights sleep during the day...) and told God what it was. I then asked that it all work out. I re-posted all the necessary ads on-line in the next 15 minutes, set NO alarm, turned my ringer off, and fell asleep... 8 hours later, I woke up to a bunch of voicemail to check and within 15 mins I had sold my quota for the day and had JUST enough time to get to my wholesaler, buy the necessary appliances for my customers and go deliver and install them. The key to this all working out- FAITH. We must have faith. We are given this life so that we will finally realize it, this is my firm belief.

"And now I give you a commandment which shall be for a covenant

between you and Me -- that ye have faith; that your faith be steadfast

as a rock that no storms can move, that nothing can disturb, and that

it endure through all things even to the end... As ye have faith so shall

your powers and blessings be.

This is the balance --

this is the balance --

this is the balance."

~Abdu'l-Bahá (my emphasis on the word "faith")

Moving on with life...

Oh Ya Baha'u'l-Abha! I am so excited for tomorrow, the next day and the week after that and next year, and forever... Through all of this I think I have become much more hopeful, I suppose that is the result of faith... duh Benjamin. Anyhow, yeah, hopeful. What a refreshing feeling. I am anxious for more tests to see how much more I can grow, I know it can be different when you are in the midst of one, none the less this is how I feel right NOW.

So, in no particular order music,

acupuncture, diet, prayer, family,

faith and authenticity seem to be

the current keys to balanced my life.

what are the keys to yours?

Lastly, I want to say that I have been getting better and better in general at not comparing myself to others, life is relative ya'll, and you NEVER know what others are going through completely, so let us take a breath, thank God for our individuality. Through knowing thyself we realize our part in Oneness.