Mood: Content.

I am so thankful for the way God works. I really am.

Ups and downs... peaks and valleys...

I feel like I am learning so much... maybe I need to learn to go to sleep earlier.

Anyhow, I have had good reasons

in the last week to laugh and cry.

I have chosen to take full advantage

of both. Through it all, I really want

to thank God for the blessing of His

presence in my life. It has been

seriously difficult, even as much as

it is helping be, after all we grow

from our tests and difficulties, right?

Thank you to all my friends too...

You mean so much to me. So much.

Also, my Mom is great too, really really great!

Wow, what a ride...

I have been on a veritable roLLER Coaster of emotion for the past week or so...

Never easy when someone very close

to you needs time away. In this case

it made perfect sense...

But that didn't make it easy.

None the less, prayer

and good people really

made it possible-

ultimately God.

I also am having a wonderful time exploring my authentic me. I had a great conversation with Laura Harley tonight after Feast that really helped me to see this- shout out to Laura for her love and support!

The most authentic, whole, empty, yet full at

the same time insides that make me who I

truly am in the eyes of God. I love that person.

Sometimes it is hard to remember and to stay

conscious of the beauty we are given. It is

within us. So deep.

Cindy complemented me a while back on my ability to remember that the answers we are most commonly seeking are inside us. I want to say that was nearly the greatest complement I have ever been given, if not the greatest. Of course this takes our remembering that deep inside us is only Light- the source of all that is and all that ever will be...

We are all a part of that light.

That is to be Blessed.

Loving ones self...

No fancy editing, or fun links on this one. Just being real about loving myself and I don't want to jive it all up with pretty little fonts and crap, just not in the mood. Please do comment on this if you are reading it, I would love to know how anyone thinks about this topic with regards to themselves. Thanks

I have had a lot of tests lately that have really made me look inside and say "hey, just how much love is in here?".

These moments have been happening more and more to the point that I really really now know that I need to pay more attention to it.

Do I love myself? In a word, yes. But there are parts of me, defeatist mentalities that would say otherwise. Those parts are so hard to shut off. I am trying to realize the necessity in not being active at "trying to shut them off" but in working for the change I want (i.e. looking in a damn mirror once in a while and saying "I love you").

Encouragement: This is a biggie for me. I LOVE giving encouragement, it is one thing that I think I have worked on over the years that I really really like about me. I have an amazing time being sincere. I love sincerity! In fact, I will say that my most sincere moments in life have been my best. Now, when you are decent at something, you look for it in others I imagine, cause that's what I do. I love encouraging words from others! I LOVE them! I used to ask others to not encourage me, cause I had some twisted mentality about it only boosting my ego... I'm over that, I realize that it doesn't work like that at all for me. It simply helps me distinguish what the word sees as good in my life, and that is very encouraging information to know, it helps me! :-)

Anyhow, ultimately, I now know that I need to tell myself I love me more. I need to tell others that I love how I love them too. Sometimes it is funny how people react when you tell them that, simply cause they are not told much by anyone... But I will still tell them.

I suppose when it comes down too it, loving myself in the right way is loving God that He created me. Loving the part of me that is God manifested in me... Wow. Thanks God.

Thanks for reading this post- I love you!