...and then

...and then

Three years ago, today was the second day of my Pilgrimage to the Baha'i World Center in Haifa, Israel. It was also the first day I visited the Shrine of Baha'u'llah just outside of Haifa.
I remember that bus ride well. I remember the spiritual longing, the peacefulness of the desert scape and the thought that all this would soon be a memory I would need to hold onto. I remember all my preconceived notions having washed away two nights before when I had seen Haifa for the first time and realized my error in thinking it would look really anything like the pictures I had seen all my life leading up to that time.

I was in the company of blessed souls... those fellow pilgrims that supported me and helped me more than they will ever know. I walked down that long path, the path to the earthly remains of my Beloved. I had never seen such a thing, though I felt more at home than at any one time prior in my life. Actually, if I am more accurate, I would say that "home," in and of itself for me, was redefined that day.

I felt belonging. 

These few years later, when I want belonging,
I go there in my prayers, in my meditation...
I long to go back there physically, to walk
around the Shrines, to feel the rocks under my
feet, to pick up a prayer book many other
pilgrims have prayed from and used to
beseech God before me... Oh, what a special
feeling. Every interaction heightened, every
sense strengthened, and every memory filed away
on thicker stock to be retrieved more easily in
the future. The tears that would stream down

my face unannounced... I drank more water

that week than probably in any other in my life;

the sun and the Sun, both so intense.

I feel that renewal still. Days begin for me with 

a more special vibrancy––if I but listen. Pilgrimage 

taught me about possibility; it taught me about beauty.

I ask myself how I can make my life more spiritual,

beautiful, and in line with what is possible.

After all this time, my inner essence has recently

answered back, "you've always known you must

sing." 

I will sing.