And then there were friends...

# 1 blessing for today: I called Mom today. We talked.

It was good. She is such a source of encouragement.

# 2 blessing for today: Facing hard truths. Met them head on. Wrote some things to someone that I needed to say, then deleted them right after, cause even though I needed to say them, they weren't really things that I truly know that person needed to hear.

# 3 blessing for today: Emotions. I tried to cry a

little bit cause I felt like I was a little overwhelmed from last

nights events on my previous blog entry, but then I realized

I feel like I do best when I am honest with myself and let

myself be strong. I feel like something somewhere tells me

that I am not supposed to be "able to handle" hard situations

or something, not true. I have been through some shit (sorry

for swearing mom), I will say that for real, and I have really

grown from it. At some point you have to start giving yourself

a little friggin' recognition for the stuff you have seen and the

growth that has come from it, and allow yourself to be the

strong person you have become, CAUSE YOU ARE! I won't

lie- that felt really good to write.

# 4 blessing for

today: Great friends/

great times. I am so happy

that I can be such good friends

with Cindy, even though we are

not in a relationship anymore.

I am happy she came over

tonight and hung out,

she is a really great friend

to have. I am also happy that

Emily, my sister, has been up in

the cities a couple of times now in

the past couple of weeks, she is really

great- totally love that she is my sister

(thanks God). Also, Marjan, who is a

totally hilarious, great person who

is blunt and honest, but knows

when to show her loving,

kind heart. Fano- this guy

came over too, great friend,

hands down. So great. So

fun. So loving. Dominique,

what a light in anyones life!

Seriously! I was so pumped

that she could come over

on such short notice.

And of course there was

Shannon, my roommate.

I love this guy! I think he is so

insightful, rare, and genuine.

A friggin' ball of laughs too!

So glad he moved here from

Chi-town to grace us with

his presence! Then after all

those great people, the cherry

on top? Roshan, of course! He comes

to town every week for a couple days of

class and crashes at our place here and

there, I love when he is able too, what a

great friend. I love being able to talk to him,

hear about his life. Tonight we watched "I Love

You, Man" together- great time! Great group of friends!

Best part, I have so many other friends up here, by the grace

of God, that I didn't get to see tonight that are just as much as

beautiful and part of my life! Hope to see you all soon!

# 5 blessing for today:

My bed. I loved coming in my

room to finish this entry tonight,

such a comfortable bed.

Such a great home.

I am truly blessed.

Truly.

New entry.

I am inspired by Cindy to write (click on her name and read her entries, one really funny one is called "My Boss". Anyhow, you will see that she has some beautiful things to say. I dare you not to be inspired.)

It is 1:24am and I need to get up in a few hours...

Do I care?

Apparently not right now.

• I want to grow closer to loving myself the same way I love all things God has created.
• I want to get my life coaching certificate.
• I want to see my family more.
• I want to sing with my brother.
• I want to be in touch with my father more instead of spending so much time being scared of loosing him.
• I want to love people without them thinking it is too much.
• I want to just be trusted that my intentions are pure, they are.
• I want to put aside my desires and seek something Greater.
• I want to change all my "I want to's..." to "I will's..."

Thanks for the inspiration, that felt good.

Wow, what a ride...

I have been on a veritable roLLER Coaster of emotion for the past week or so...

Never easy when someone very close

to you needs time away. In this case

it made perfect sense...

But that didn't make it easy.

None the less, prayer

and good people really

made it possible-

ultimately God.

I also am having a wonderful time exploring my authentic me. I had a great conversation with Laura Harley tonight after Feast that really helped me to see this- shout out to Laura for her love and support!

The most authentic, whole, empty, yet full at

the same time insides that make me who I

truly am in the eyes of God. I love that person.

Sometimes it is hard to remember and to stay

conscious of the beauty we are given. It is

within us. So deep.

Cindy complemented me a while back on my ability to remember that the answers we are most commonly seeking are inside us. I want to say that was nearly the greatest complement I have ever been given, if not the greatest. Of course this takes our remembering that deep inside us is only Light- the source of all that is and all that ever will be...

We are all a part of that light.

That is to be Blessed.

Post Fast blues...

I don't know if it is the eating during the day now, or not saying Fasting prayers with Cindy each morning, or just something I have made up in my mind, but I sure am feeling

pretty wiped out by the Fast or maybe I am feeling wiped out by still having

to deal with the tests that came up during Fast, while I am not fasting

anymore... huh... Yeah I think it is the second one. Yeah, I do.

And don't get me wrong...

I am not talking about the physical side of

the fast, that was fine, and I feel good about

being able to drink water in the morning,

even if it is after sunrise!! But for some

reason I seem to "got the blues".

Yesterday I hung out with amazing people,

hands down. I had a great time at a children's

class. There were many prayers said at the two

devotionals I went too... All in all, there was no

reason for me to not be SUPER HAPPY

even if I were to just rate my day on the PeOpLe

I was around!!

Oh well, guess I'll just chalk it up to being "post Fast blues".

The blessing I am pointing too in this blog you ask?

Blessing # 783,456,322-

The ability to reason

and realize why I am

feeling a certain way.

Now that I have written this, I realize that I need to make sure to not just stop with the intensity of my prayers just cause it isn't Fast anymore... Maybe I need to schedule in some time for God, ALL THE TIME... learning better to recognize Him in all others.

I have to admit, there is a certain part of me

which is also really exhausted by having a

long distance relationship for these past 6

months. I am excited that Cindy is coming

home soon! That makes me happy, but

man-oh-man it has been a long road that

we have had to take by virtue of the fact

that she had this job in France and we didn't

have any other choice. All in all, I am totally

glad we had the time apart for certain

personal growth that we both had that

may have not been accomplished otherwise...

I digress. These are my thoughts.

PLEASE COMMENT and let me know your thoughts.

Maybe you have "post Fast blues"?

Maybe you have in the past?

Let me know.

Blessing # 843,251,989,983 Chocolate from Cindy.

So, I know that my last

few posts have been

much more serious,

and that they have been

far more involved. Today

I decided to make another

entry highlighting my latest

blessing.

First a little Background:

Case File # 483

Cynthia Long

Age: 23

Location: Nancy, France

Sex: The coolest woman ALIVE (hands down)

Attributes: Patience, Kindness, Love, Understanding, Persistance

Skills: Ninja costume wearing skills,

Cooking skills,

Picking out the best chocolate ever skills,

Nurturing children

Translating languages (French to English/English to French)

The list goes on and on

Background file continued on page # 677

SO.

What is the blessing I speak of? Well probably getting chocolate from Cindy (see photos for proof)!! Oh, and if you live in the Twin Cities area, I may be willing to do a little sharing, call me up!

:-)

#1 photo- "mine"

# 2 photo- "mmm smells gooooood"

#3 photo- "proof."

The problem with this gift you ask??

None really, it's just that today is the last day of the Bahá'í Fast, and all though I did open them up to get a couple of quick smells (hey that isn't cheating, right?) I have to wait until 7:26 pm... ugh.

LOL

No problem... I can wait.

THANKS CINDY!!!

SNOW SHIZZLE

This entry was written on 12-23-08

Have you ever gone snow-shoeing??

Well today I tried it for the first time

and I absolutely loved it!

I am at Cindy's parents home in Wausau, Wi

for the holiday. Gary, Cindy's dad, let me use

all of his gear and I got all bundled up for

snow-shoein' adventures and off we went!!

I really loved the time we had...

I had been working so much this

last week, I forgot I hadn't taken

any time for myself lately... woah.

Good thing to do!!

It

has

been

really

nice to

see Cindy...

what a blessing she is to my life.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how much she supports my sustained increase in faith (and I her, hopefully). It is lovely to have someone to bounce thing off of and see how your own thoughts sound. Some time we don't take the time we should to figure out how we are going to approach an idea or thought. I is nice to have someone there to be able to trust to talk too things about and see how they sound... Trust. I love that word. The funny thing is for me that word really means “someone who I can talk to as a total equal and doesn't see themselves as above my thought processes”. Of course the key there is “doesn't see themselves” even though they may be. Cindy often times really surprises me with the things she comes up with. Often times I find myself, cause most of our conversations are pretty free of ego, mesmerized at how she sees something and it helps me to gain a new perspective. Is that how my conversations should be with anyone?

The answer: YES!

And with

Baha'u'llah's

help I am striving

to work on that. So

all of you who have

normal interactions

with me, try to pick up

on it in our next conversation...

never know, I might just trust you

enough to let go and listen.............. :-)

I really love you all. Thanks for reading my thoughts.

Benjamin H.